Lessons I’ve learned About Life

The year 2012 has begun on a peaceful note. It is that time of the year when you are experiencing chilled winter weather, all cuddled up inside the blanket, munching on whatever fatty items you could lay your hands on. Winter is said to instigate mood blues but in my case it is more of reflections of times gone by, that has kept me staring into emptiness. I have been on this earth for nearly three decades and that’s a long long period. When you are in a city like Delhi, where there are buildings that measure their age by the millennia, it helps to put that brief blink of the eye into perspective. I have been around for long enough yet the pattern of my past signals me as if I have barely begun.

Talking about reflections, I guess I have managed to imbibe certain lessons. No, I am not bright enough to grab these lessons when they first appeared but it’s more like repeated demonstrations of a given law by life when you are finally forced to make it a part of your bloodstream. Call it lessons or discoveries about life, world and people; I am going to list some of them. You might have read them before or heard from some motivational speaker but well..I am talking about my own experiences.

• Nobody, I repeat nobody has it all figured out. Don’t even bother to solve all the riddles life throws at you.

• People come and go including some close ones. But old friends stay there. Trust me, there is no better balm than spending a good evening with an old friend over a cup of coffee or better, a bottle of beer.

• There are always subtle signals left on the trail. The idea is to identify them.

• Too easy to say. Said often. Yet I repeat, let go of expectations. Whether it’s from people, books, job, family, beloved, just let go or reduce it to minimum. There is no point putting your expectations in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. Imagine, you setting up an idealized version of the thing (or person) and then try to fit the reality into this ideal? Tell me how is it going to work?

• Some of the best things in life are free. Totally. Think of a good book, an old friend, a walk around the neighborhood park, a good hug, talking to any random kid, rain during the winter or even when you are all cuddled up under the quilt. All are free.

• The worst sin one can do is to compare himself/herself to others. I am unique. You are unique. Nothing else matters.

• When you are fed up of your life, pick a book.

• We Indians are generally terrible at accepting compliments as compliments.

• Make sure your mind remains broad and waist narrow. Not vice-versa.

• Having no friends is a sure recipe of a disastrous life.

• Pharma companies want to cure us and not prevent us from diseases. No wonder, ever welfare-oriented governments still allow junks foods to be sold at schools and hospitals.

• “Gut feeling” is a reality, not just a euphemism.

• Comfort is the most common addiction in the world. Not for nothing, Seth Godin and Edward De Bono keep talking about moving out of your comfort zone.

• Stay clear of cribbers. S.T.A.Y C.L.E.A.R!

• Unhappiness is the most contagious disease. You know what you have to do!

• It’s futile changing other people. You can’t. I have accepted it with heavy heart and so have others when it comes to changing me.

• World is a grand stage and I am the greatest story ever told, accompanied by several extras, Each one of them overflowing with a strong character.  

• Someone else will always have more. Whether it’s money, friends, perks, sex appeal or blog visitors. Forget that.

• The world does not owe me a loving. Period.

• Beware of free advice. It’s worth what it costs.

• Possessions are best example of human stupidity. Cost you everything and add no real value to your life, except for instant gratification and earning some brownie points among your colleagues and neighbors.

• Develop strong hobbies. They are cathartic and purge you of all your pent-up suffocations.

• Not all of us have goals. And yet, we can live perfectly happy without them.

• When greed takes over, we stop being grateful for whatever we have. Going by all the available social parameters of basic necessities, education, human capital etc, I think I am in the top 20% of the world population. I couldn’t have asked for more.

• Don’t worry about what people think. They hardly do it anyways!

• Career and life are two different terms. Don’t confuse them with each other.

• Your body never lies to you. Give it a patient hearing.

• Get some perspective. If not, develop it. Things always appear different when you think of a certain situation by imagining yourself as a third person.

• Never trust the elegantly suited stock market analysts on CNBC. Read their faces and you will know, these experts are no different than well-trained parrots programmed to repeat certain things during certain periods.

• Question everything. All that our parents, education system, media, critics want us to conform to. There are always alternatives. All our information sources are influenced by some ulterior motives or others.

• Don’t judge people. Each one of us has certain characteristics that will appeal to others and certain other traits that will make them abhor us. Pick the parts that you like and work around it. Ignore the rest.  

• Stop wasting your life watching 100-crore Bollywood grosser, Big Boss, SplitVilla, Roadies and soap operas served on prime time. Instead, find your way around NGC & Animal Planet. World will be a better place with this smallest of sacrifices.

• Do less. Trying to do more all the time sucks the juice out of your own life energy.

• Women are complex characters are they are also from earth. Deal with it.

• One lesson that is hard to accept but that’s the truth- Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.

• Nothing is ever a certainty. Things keep changing their characters.

• Finally, Nothing is ever in black & white. Everything is grey.