Posted by Mrityunjay on May 28, 2009
Posted by Mrityunjay on May 21, 2009
Tell me one thing that disappears the moment you name it? Guess, no! Ok, no prizes for guessing. Its silence. Aah, I am in love with this word. In my eyes, silence is one of the most effective communication tools. No words can tell me as much about someone as silence can. Almost, effortlessly! Yet, people want to hear your words, your screams, your tales to rally understand you, ignoring the golden meaning of silence. Silence has been always been accorded the highest value by arts, literature and entertainment.
Even culturally, Asians are known to use silence as means of communication as well as sign of respect and tolerance. However, western world would differ. They construe silence as rude and odd. They prefer speech instead of silence. Remember those childhood days when you are getting the scolding of your life and what was your reaction? Downcast eyes and sealed lips! If pushed further, few complaints or tears. That’s it! So, we have been taught the virtue of silence from those childhood days.
To me, very few things are a soothing as sitting in the lap of nature with no human being around and listening to the silence of nature. That’s pure bliss. If you have not tried it then please try it. Understand the virtue of silence. I know, for few its bliss and for few others its pure anathema. Few of my close ones find my silence irritating and few others a channel of free flowing peace. I hardly care about what others think but it’s my birthright to remain silent whenever I wish to! The harder thing is finding people who could understand this inherent need!
Some of the great communicators use silence effectively. In fact, they are good at communication skills because they know how best to utilize the virtue of silence. Silence is not meant to unnerve you or overwhelm you. Just a little bit of modification and you will be adept at understanding it. People who hate silence can never understand other people. It would be real fun to master the art of silent communication.
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Posted by Mrityunjay on May 18, 2009
Imagine its 2 A.M., and you’re awake! Mind wandering and palms all sweaty! You are chatting with few friends and yet you are feeling nervous and WORRIED! Yes, you are worried. Worried about exams, results, family, money, career, life and what not? It could be even does my boyfriend miss me as much as I miss him? Or what others are thinking about me? This is not a onetime event. It has become a habit, a menace. That’s the travesty of modern life. We have become worrywarts! Worrisome lonesome!
The problem with us is we have started to worry about everything. Most of the things that trigger this chain reaction of worries is ‘imaginative what-if situation’! Probably, its not fair to use the word ‘We’ but definitely most of us tend to think, contemplate and then start worrying about every small of life! Why? Even the joker would say “Why so serious”? that was not really humorous but I know you got what I wanted to say.
I was glancing through the Sunday edition of The Times of India and they had published this all India survey across eight major cities. The theme was, yes you guessed it right; worry! The findings were funny as well as ironical. 75 percent said, they are worried about relationships whereas 80 percent blamed their worry quotient on family. Most startling finding was that all Indians were worried about losing their self-esteem! WTF!
In fact, worrying has become an obsession. The hardest thing to see is bright students and performing executives (the leading lights of our future) constantly worrying about tomorrow that can never be predicted. Too much of planning, too much of expectations and allowing oneself to be burdened by others’ hopes and aspirations are the major causes of this unhealthy obsession. Few people even mentioned factors such as, 30 inch waistline, the dog/cat being fat, fear of parents finding her secret diary, online hook-ups, getting only 92 percent result when it should have 98 percent, not having perfect vital statistics etc etc. I am already sweating!
The thing with worry is, different people react differently to it. Few even get addicted to it. They just can’t survive without worrying at least once in a day. I know few of those types. I read this somewhere, “worry is often like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but doesn’t necessarily get you anywhere”! you worrywarts, why can’t you realize that silly worries make you feel saturated and disable you from seeing beautiful side of things.
It’s almost like some of them are “wired to worry”! I am not here to enlighten with new findings but in one line, we are wasting our life worrying about trifle issues! But remember, it is not going to change anything. So? So, why worry?! And yet if you can’t get rid of it, probably you deserve it!
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Posted by Mrityunjay on May 14, 2009
I will start with one personal story. Few years back, I remember a female friend of mine sobbing in front of me and confessing that she had never been kissed because of her ‘looks’! I was stunned and was totally befuddled! Ok, why am I sharing this? I will tell you, why!
A recent research report made me think of that story. It’s a known fact that the world is a sucker for good looks. According to that survey, people with good looks coupled with height and fairness factors have better chances of attaining success in personal as well as professional sphere! Surprised? Well, it caught me off-guard! Until now, I had this feeling that looks are significant only when it comes to proverbial ‘First Impression’ thing. Afterwards, all that matters is your consistency in performance and efforts put into. Well, I was totally wrong. The research tells us that those with good looks have consistent advantage over not-so-fortunate people through-out their lives. How unfair that sounds?
See the trend going on in your vicinity. Check any channel, website, newspapers, magazines etc and everywhere you will see toned-up, muscular, well groomed and svelte figures staring at you. We people in general have this unforgiving and insensitive attitude towards people who look far from perfect.
Whether it is parents, friends, life partners, neighbors, they all look at you with hidden derision and far from encouraging comments regarding something or the other. It could be weight, color complexion or height etc. we tend to admire good looking people. Those who look any less than perfect are often overlooked or given unfair deal. So, in that light, this research should not surprise us.
Given the emphasis on appearance, true talent is often in danger of remaining hidden for an entire lifetime. If we search a bit, we can find several such examples. So what’s the way out? Well, beware, now I am getting into that preaching mode!
As has been repeated thousands of times, your undying confidence in yourself is the only thing that can get you far despite the world’s derision and skepticism of non-believers. You stand the chance of being jeered, booed or even ignored but how about a flashing disarming smile in such situations! You don’t have any other choice, do you? And trust me; being famous is no big deal now. Work hard for one month and you can find your 15 minutes of fame on YouTube or twitter. Not to mention, there are several other viable and practical options also! But basically, you just need to love yourself!
About that story, well, my immediate reaction was giving a peck on her forehead. I guess, that was one of the happiest moments in her life. I am not in touch with her today but from what I had heard of her last time, she was doing well in life as well as relationships…Amen!
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Posted by Mrityunjay on May 10, 2009
We people love to feast on emotions. No matter, whether emotions are related to happiness or sadness or dejection or plain derision, all we require is emotion and some rags-to-riches stories to feel better about the things. Ever wondered why these reality programs score so high on popularity charts? In last few years, suddenly a deluge of reality television programs invaded our privacy and we found us glued to the unfolding but scripted drama.
Many experts are of the opinion that reality television gave new identity to rural population of India. It helped in fuelling the aspirations and ambitions of people who had never thought of coming live to idiot box and being watched by millions of people. For example, Ashutosh, the winner of MTV Roadies and Big Boss who found unprecedented success from alley of obscurity. A small time guy from rural area of Haryana, he had never imagined winning huge money or endorsing commercials or having fun in off-shore countries.
It has become fashionable to present his example as epitome of dreams and ambitions but is that really so? I am still grasping to gauge what actually he achieved in those two programs? Performance? Educational excellence? Some hidden treasure of talent? I mean, what was so striking about his winning these poor quality shows? For one, I don’t really think these two shows have anything to do with quality and excellence. One is all about furling obscenities in the name of demonstration of youth power and second, well, it has no other purpose than to satisfy out voyeuristic tendencies.
The worst part is I see good number of educated and intelligent people taking deep interest in programs like ‘Big Boss’. Can someone explain me why should we care about an ensemble of third grade rejected celebrities? What is there for us to discuss or see? Finding conspiracy theories and who-told-what-about-whom sort of things? Meet any friend or colleague and you will find discussing, ‘hey did you see the program today? X just sc****d Y and it was total fun, man!’ Excuse me?!
The truth is we love to take a deep interest in other people’s lives. Their emotional plight tantalizes our taste buds. We all are voyeuristic and find delight at the misery of unknown and non-related individuals. The best example was of live death telecast of our beloved ‘Jade Goody’! Her cancer and subsequent sobs was our favorite drawing room topic. Her claim to fame was hurling some nice expletives at our own beloved Miss Shetty! That’s the irony of whole thing. She died in full glare of media but her abuses gave Miss Shetty a new lease of life! A terrible failure in bollywood but now she is the new face of India and perhaps our most popular export in last two years. She represents tolerance and voice against racism. Welcome aboard, miss victim-turned-underdog-turned-celebrity-turned-new darling of media-turned part owner of an IPL team- turned would be bride of a rich businessman! That’s some turnaround, no? But wait, this is just the beginning of many such examples….
Posted by Mrityunjay on May 8, 2009
So finally, Pappu voted! I truly feel that it was a big psychological leap for me. I can’t really express how excited I felt after voting. At the same time, I am really ashamed to admit that it took me 27 years of my life and 9 years after reaching eligibility benchmark to exercise my democratic rights. Phew! Well, better late than never. Since last few days I was wondering about whom I am going to vote for. I tried checking the qualification and standard of candidates and finally decided to choose one based on his development plank.
I won’t be able to claim that the candidate I voted for was the best one, but yes, I tried choosing the lesser evil. Got this wonderful blob of ink on my forefinger and to be honest it feels good! 😉
Delhi did witness a relatively better turnout of voters at 53% and majority of them were first time voters like me. So many ‘Pappus’ managed to break through their disillusionment and indifference towards politics. Thanks to media and campaign like ‘Jaago Re’ and ‘Making a difference’, many youths changed their mindsets and thought of contributing their bit. The ‘Jaago’ campaign proved to be a masterstroke from Tata Tea because of its commercial as well as social success.
Another change witnessed was the notion of voting as the ‘IN’ thing. It really became fashionable to vote. Celebrities loved to flaunt their inked fingers and flash that plastic smile with ‘victory’ sign! Probably that drama did play its part in many adoring fans turning out at polling booths. Lastly, the funniest thing was many malls and shopping places offering 15-20% discount on groceries and readymade clothes to the people who have voted!
Well, that was not a bad idea actually. Many people availed this offer once they were done with their ballot thing. A win-win situation for both business and consumers! I wish, our politicians could offer any such discounts (though, do they have anything to offer? :P)!
Posted by Mrityunjay on May 4, 2009
Love is an ever-changing concept. The dynamics changes so swiftly that it leaves you wondering about the longitivity of the concept. This eternal concept is especially put under the scanner after the marriage takes place. Do you still sweat profusely while going on a date with your better-half as you did few years back? Your hands still fidget nervously? Or do you still check your cell-phone for any ‘important’ sms or missed call? Find yourself looking dreamily at the speeding fan? Think of your beloved when it rains and you are standing all alone in your balcony?
So what happened? Romance frittered away from your life? Will quote something from “The Mirrors Has Two Faces” (of Barbara Streisand) – ‘illusions about love and the emphasis on sex keep people lonely. Love does not last long. They never tell us what happens after marriage, because there is no ‘after’. The be-all and end-all of romantic love is- marriage’! Dare to disagree? I am waiting for your profound logics!
What happens later on is some perpetual cribbing about lovers turned husbands/wives! How hard I try to feel optimistic about the notion of marriage, I can not negate the fact that it does takes away the rush of adrenaline and thrills associated with romance. At the same time I will have to admit that despite the downsides, we continue dreaming, we continue loving and loved in return. That leaves me with another perspective that we still love or we are still loved but we are not in love. For each one of us, love is a different concept. For some, it’s a sharing-caring thing, for others it’s more like knowing in and out of other person right from his/her choice of undergarments to favorite soap! Few others will come up with things like, to be able to be myself and where we don’t need to pretend or act. Fine!
How would I define? Well, to be honest I am confused. But whatever little I know I can say that it’s more of combination of hundreds of happy moments shared together. Small things make a big difference in the final analysis. It builds up with time. Yes, romance and passion are integral parts of it but in the hindsight, there are merely phases. You grow out of that physical intimacy. It has been said that, love lasts forever but state of being in love does not last. It doesn’t because it cannot! Like everything else, romance also has an expiry date. But the understanding you share with the person, the bond you managed to create over the years will always be there with romance or without romance!
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Posted by Mrityunjay on May 3, 2009
Sometimes, Illness brings you in a contemplative zone along with feelings of irritation and anger. So now when I am feeling slightly low in health related affairs my attention veered towards an aspect that has kept roaming in my mind since quite some time. Recently, I was having this meeting with my friends. We few got together with not-so-hidden agenda of pampering ourselves with memories of past glory. Well, we do have this right of rewarding ourselves once in a while because it’s really tough; being a man, what with chores of practicality and managing all girls out there. Such meetings often start with issues of the world and discussions of professional matters and then you tend to have a dinner or lunch and finally comes moments of silence after the initial excitement of chit-chat. Then, it’s kind of reflection or wondering what next to do because anything you talk after that will be directly taken from the personal sphere and that’s when it gets very intriguing.
All of a sudden it hits hard when you think of how the content of the conversation has changed in a matter of 3-4 years. Those same guys used to blabber endlessly and about every damn topic. These were the same guys who loved talking about their new crushes, romantic encounters and ‘I will rule the world’ sort of statements. Those eyes were full of dreams and expectations. I hardly remember anyone actually taking a time to reflect upon things. All that used to be in mind was need to get going with the flow of life. We all loved to share our secrets and it was kind of competition who will share first.
And how things have changed? Now everyone appears smarter than before and those reflective eyes hide number of secrets. Call it wisdom or maturity or plain practicality but things are no more the same. But the most striking change was none of them having anything to share about his spouse! Compare this with old days when talking about girlfriends was a craze but now..No single word about their life partner. Or did I miss something? Oh, no…I did not…
So what happened? Love vanished or simply put, it is no longer the priority? When you are in love, you tend to go through this fascinating journey of emotional rides and fluctuations in your own thinking pattern. The logic and reasoning often takes a back-seat and you follow what your heart tells you. But now that you are married and there seems to be no frontier to conquer, the emotional rollercoaster ride is well replaced by curse of practicality!