Almost twice a week, I get an email informing me about someone following me on Twitter. This ‘someone’ could be anyone from xyz to abc that I have no clue about. Most of these followers do not have any followers themselves but they are following like 200-700 people. Why? I have no clue. Why someone like me who hardly has few tweets to his name? Again, I have no clue because I don’t know any of them. This sets me thinking. People are either following someone or want others to follow them just because others are doing it as well. Call it a marketing gimmick or ‘popularity of brand Twitter’ or whatever you like but for many of us trying to be active on Twitter almost borders on desperation.
I have heard few guys saying, ‘What! You are not on Twitter? Come on Man, that’s just unimaginable!’ What the hell!These people make me feel as if my entire life hinges on being a ‘Twitterati’ and if you are not a part of this phenomenon, you are definitely technologically challenged. To me, most of the people trying to be active on Twitter do not make sense. It’s very much similar to a herd mentality.
If Tom, Dick and Harry is there on Twitter then so should I! Why? I don’t know but yeah, this is ‘in’! This is the fad we must be a part of or else I risk being labelled technology illiterate. Does it confuse you? Or gives you an indication of how easy it is to influence people! And what do most of these ‘fad-o-followers’ do on twitter? Well, some of the best comical and nonsensical stuff that you will ever witness. Just witness three tweets and responses!
Tweet One– Man, Delhi’s weather sux! Tempr is almst 44 and no respite in sight!
1st Response- yeah dude, this is jst so v bad! (enlightened, huh?!)
2nd response- why don’t u go 2 a hill station! (Damn, y didn’t I think of it!)
3rd response- Mumbai is no bettr either! (Uh? Really?)
Tweet Two– Saw Prince. Vivek Oberoi rocks.
1st Response- Yeah man, stunts were amazing! (Sure, what good taste you have!)
2nd response- yucckk! Worst film of the year! (Sigh! At last s’one is making sense!)
3rd Response- copycat bollywood! Vivek’s acting starts wid flared nostril and end wid dat 1ly! (how dare you speak the truth!)
Tweet Three– Fever and cold is killing me. Don’t feel like goin office.
1st Response- Awwww..poor baby. Did u c any doctor? (Cho chweet of you to ask that! Gurrrrrr!)
2nd Response- that’s sad! Changing weather n all! Get well soon. (Zillion thanks for this wonderful suggestion)
3rd Response- jst relax at home. Take crocin and anti-biotic. (Really? Why didn’t you tell me before?)
Tell me, was there any strategic importance attached with these tweets? I mean, none of these make any sense and yet you will find 80% of tweets going on these lines. Got the drift? If Delhi’s weather sucks then no less than 15 million of population are also going through the same thing and actually, it does not comes as a surprise if you realise why it’s called summer! If you have fever and cold then what’s the point making a noise about it? Seeking sympathy? Require attention? Want the world to notice that one of the most important persons on the planet earth is going through a ‘real hard time’? Get a life man!
Most of the tweets have this intonation of ‘Please notice me! I am also there! Me too, Me too’. Such creeps & such desperation! I do agree, twitter is a wonderful tool in hands of those who knows why to use it. It makes sense in the hands of marketing people, some web 2.0 savvy business punks but what’s your reason to be there! If you are following Shahrukh, Lalit Modi or some other big shot celebrities, at least that shows us our very nature of being a ‘peeping Tom’. Though, If Lalit Modi tweets, ‘having fun at spa. Relaxing time’, it does not make any sense to me but yeah, hundreds of other twitter guys will get their inspiration from that and waste some real precious time of their lives discussing that particular tweet. ‘The Times of India’ will inform us which celebrity tweeted what and we get our fodder from that.
Twitter is a handy tool if you want to advertise things. It makes sense for bloggers or for people who need to spread some relevant news in quick time or when some sort of healthy and informative discussion goes on and we feel tempted to share our 2 cents. But all the ‘Despos’ and ‘Me Toos’ of the world and that includes me, please try to find some good reasons for your tweets and if you don’t have any, be selective about what you tweet. World is not really interested in your attention-seeking cheesy tweets and if they are then, beware. Because in a world where self-obsession is the key that drives us, you are also bound to indulge in ‘Quid pro Quo’. If you are bombarding others with your crap then you need to be prepared for same. But I guess, you have already factored in that tacky barter system.
P.S- Well, having mumbled all those things, how about tweeting my blog update? Lolzz
: Image courtesy thegreatwahl.com