Silent Whispers

Chasing Illusionary Butterflies!

Losing Thy Virginity

Posted by Mrityunjay on June 14, 2009

lose-virginity1Let me try to infiltrate the border of modesty. Let’s talk a bit about virginity! Well, the word itself is fascinating enough. There is some mystery/sacred feel associated with the word. Whenever this word comes out in open, a furor is bound to be created. So what do Indians think about the term virginity? As far as I think, there has been an attitudinal shift in the minds of youngsters (strictly youngsters). Somewhere down the line, the term has lost its relevance in urban world. We are yet to be as free as the western world but mindset has definitely shown signs of improvement.

The point is, does this overhyped word really deserves as much attention as it gets? Not so long ago, it was fashionable to remain a virgin till marriage. Virginity was considered as a pious concept that must be preserved for the ‘One and Only’ on the wedding night. We Indians are quite conservative when it comes to sexual encounters at an early stage of our life. Incidentally, Indians are considered as second oldest when it comes to losing their virginity! Yes, the average age is 22.9 years!! Case of missing too many early opportunities, huh?!

The problem being faced by us is double standards adopted by the society. It has been rightly said that, a conservative society tends to be hypocritical. That implies that we have different set of standards for male and females. Anyone remember that famous quote by south Indian actress Khusboo; ‘no educated man should expect his bride to be a virgin’. Well, what followed next were many days of protests and violence apart from quotable quotes from our religious/political figures! Why surprised? They had to uphold our tradition and culture after all, no?! She finally had to apologize for stating the truth!

Male can lose their virginity as and when they desire but they cannot accept the same when a female does so! I remember few of my friends who got a relatively higher level of education (read MBA) were dead firm against marrying a non-virgin girl. However, they opined that for men, this rule does not hold any water. Needless to say, I was amazed at their brazen behavior and chauvinistic approach.

One of the reasons why you find urban youths being more open about virginity issue is they don’t want to be look like a first timer. No young person would love to admit that he or she is yet to taste the forbidden truth. Peer pressure, you see! But somewhere winds of change have already started to take place. It has almost become a non-issue at few major places. By any mistake if you happen to ask a youth the virginity question, you are most likely to be responded with “excuse me? Was it that important to ask?”

Finally, if you are in love then what’s wrong with having sex with your partner? Let’s get real. Love is not just about spiritual and mental connection. Physical proximity plays a big role as well. However, those with penchant for one night stands need to be cautious. Once the miss honey had her quota of fun with sugar daddy, far reaching psychological repercussions can take place. (Did that sound like a victim stating his experience?! Lolz!). On a serious tone, why I am saying this because not all first experiences can be enjoyable. Some of you may have some disastrous experiences that are likely to change your attitude towards sex forever. So my dear folks decide on your own whether you are going to taste the forbidden fruit or take the plunge of celibacy! Though, I won’t advocate the later one, pun unintended!  

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6 Responses to “Losing Thy Virginity”

  1. geetu said

    your write ups make me think . It was one of the topic i wished to discuss with someone but to be framk being a girl had some india girls have been considered as ghar ki izzat and if they lose their virginity before their marriage they were rather are considered as curse . so by chance they ever lose it by being in love they hide it . though the soceity is changing but only in certain part and to certain extent . though the girls are prograssing but in this respect there is still a long way to go .

  2. Dianne said

    Hi There
    I have found your blog very interesting. I write a blog about virginity and am working on a documentary on the same subject.

    Would you like to do a ‘First Person’ for us? This is an item people have been writing for us on their own thoughts about virginity. We can plug your blog if you’d like!

    You can check out other First Person posts at


    • Hi Dianne,
      I checked your blog and must admit, its quite interesting. The idea suggested by you makes me feel like going for it. As you mentioned doing a ‘First person’, does it means answering to certain set of questions?
      And thanks for dropping by. 🙂

  3. Udey Fakmit said

    Personally, believe it or not, I lost my virginity at 34…and it’s only now, when I’m over 39, that I’m finally reaching my sexual peak.

    It DOES matter whom you do it with.

  4. Bhawna said

    Well said!

    I have never been able to understand that why can’t we not give up this hype attached to this word “Virginity”.

    Can a desire to have a sexual interactions [could not find the appropriate word] not be treated as one of our body needs, that must be addressed to, in time. Why such a hype about it?

    And agreed, conservative mind is a hypocrit mind.So applies to a society too.

    It’s time, when sex education will become a part of our curricullum in schools and the various myths associated with sex and fanatasies around it, must be dealt with, more realsitically.

    And with does one wish to share details about his/ her first intimate experience, should be completely a person’s own choice.

    As a child I recall, having asked my mother, about what is Nirodh [ after watching a tv advertisement on the same] and instead of having answered my Query, she said ” It’s not for children. ye badey logo.n k liye hai, tum padhai karo” And that left me wondering, what possibly it could be? 😛 Lols…. Unless, I grew up and understood, what it is, and what is it meant for?

    This is a best example of how issues on sex and for that matter even on safe sex are never discussed with youngsters , when they need to know about it. I remember finding my classmates giggle and hide faces, when in 9th standard biology class, we were being tought about “reproductory system”. My biology teacher was quite strict and hence she was all the more stern in doing this chapter, probably to avoid any question from students. Maybe, she was not comfortable in replying to such questions hence she made herself appear so strict. {just my thoughts about this}

    Today’s generation is far well equipped with technology and hence knows a lot more , well before time…. which is exactly why ” innocence” is becoming a rarity.

    Can we please slow down the pace at which we are living our lives, just to ensure, we ourselves enjoy the pleasures of life, when they should be.

    • Mritunjay said

      That Nirodh thing..I could so relate to it..happened plenty of times with me and even during the 9th biology class..;)
      I guess, it’s about the mindset more than anything else..we Indians, as a rule are pretty hypocrites..are we from the same country that has images of intercourse & Kamasutra positions across the Khajuraho and other places? And yet, we would like to keep topic of sex education under the carpet..and to think of it, we still managed to have a population of 1.2 Billion..lolz..what could be more falsifying than that?

      I think, it’s upto each and every individual..society never changes in a flash nor we should try to change it..but yes, I can always take initiative in my be it..:)

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